Since February is known to be the ‘month of love’ with Valentine’s Day, we thought we would seize this opportunity to talk about the importance of this most sacred emotion known as love as we age. Age has no bearing on a person’s ability to give or receive love…in fact, there are many excellent benefits seniors can enjoy.
The Positive Effects of Love
While love affects everyone in multiple ways, when it comes right down to it, many of the affects are the same as they were when we were teenagers…dilated pupils and a quickened heart rate. At the same time, love and affection comes with additional benefits for seniors including boosting the immune system, lowering blood pressure, improving sleep and reducing stress. A stable, healthy relationship with another person also amplifies emotional and mental wellbeing at any age. A New York Times article quote from a senior reader said, “Old love, I think, is wiser, quieter and, in its own way, absolutely as intense.” Two psychologists from the University of Utah, Lisa Diamond and Janna Dickenson, found that romantic love is directly connected with two areas of the brain that regulate dopamine, the ‘feel good’ chemical. Basically, and beneficially, just thinking about your romantic partner helps reduce stress, pain and feelings of negativity. Handholding and cuddling can bring feelings of safety, security, warmth and comfort.
How Age Can Change the Ways Love Is Expressed
Age can bring unique issues that impact the ways in which seniors express and receive love, including dementia and Alzheimer’s. These diseases don’t diminish the need for affection or emotional intimacy but can change how those afflicted express what their needs are, which can change often based on variables like emotional energy and mental states. This can bring about a heightened interest in handholding, cuddling and other forms of physical affection. Being attentive and supportive are key to continuing the nurturing nature that love provides, to both the giver and receiver.
Love in the Golden Years
There are concerns with seniors and relationship experiences, and it’s something many find difficulty addressing:
- Seniors who have lost a decades-long partner or spouse and the continued human desire for love that has been lost. It’s a crushing pain and sadness that one never truly gets over but learns to cope and live on with that void in their hearts. There are also family members that can be upset with the idea of a parent ‘moving on’ while they’re still grieving themselves that they feel can be disrespectful. This is all natural and one of the toughest parts of life. Every individual deals with this in their own way and in their own time. Some choose to reserve themselves and decide to remain alone, while others continue life and even have discussed their lives after a partner passes with that partner while they’re still alive and together, almost as a ‘permission granted’ to carry on and seek love again.
- Love is the greatest and most powerful gift, and there are so many other seniors that are also fighting to deal with the sadness and absence of their life partners too soon. They seek comfort in the shared grieving experiences and often find solace with others. Friendships can grow into more as they help each other deal with individual sorrow and even help find healing, recovery, hope and happiness, as well as renewed purpose.
- It’s absolutely an individual choice in how an older adult wishes to continue…to choose to live on the love they had, or if they wish to carry on and find love again. There’s no wrong answer. Statistically, a National Poll on Aging survey from the University of Michigan found 72% of seniors between the ages of 65-80 had a current romantic partner.
Life is sweeter when it’s surrounded by love. The love of friends, family and a romantic partner should never be out of the equation. It has many benefits, from physical and mental health to emotional wellbeing and even overall longevity. From everyone at Parkview Senior Living, we wish you a lifetime surrounded by love and a Happy Valentine’s Day.
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